Arshavin Weirdness, Cesc & Incomings
There is something very psychedelic going on in the minds of Andrey Arshavin‘s interrogators on his website. This is a public service announcement (without guitars): Whatever zinja has been taking, we should be told. For no other reason than we should know what to avoid because it plays serious havoc with your head.
7. From zinja
As a future engineer, I’m interested in this question: if I stand with my feet on the rails, put pantyhose on my head and throw the ends on the wires, will I be able to go as a tram? 🙂
Arshavin: Look out, the tram can catch up with you and if it does, then you’ll go directly to the crazy house and get a quite different diploma 🙂
Even by the bizarre standards of the Arshavin website, that is a truly frightening question. If you ever, ever go to a railway station and see that the track or trains have been engineered by zinja, be afraid. Be very afraid. And Arshavin encourages them…Still it’s his birthday so we’ll let him crave his indulgence and he does pay his website more attention than Tomas Rosicky, Cesc Fabregas and William Gallas give their official sites.
To things Arsenal. Yes, it’s still rumbling on with the Spanish media reporting that Barcelona and Arsenal are only €10m apart in their valuation. Txiki Begiristain is apparently constantly emailing Arsenal with offers and what-have-you’s. So often that his emails now nestle alongside the offers of Viagra at a discount (why is it that these discounts decrease as the night goes on – surely they stay the same or increase at the very least to enhance the claims about the product?) in Ivan Gazidis’ inbox. Joan Laporta does not know about this – the Cesc emails, I know not his knowledge of Viagra – as he reckons that the Catalans will not pay over the top for Cesc. Oh yes, you will…
A vaguely pleasant change this morning with nobody else stating that they want to play for Barcelona but quite a few thinking that they may well be on their way to donning the new home kit when it gets released.
None are quite so cocksure as Hugo Rodellega, claiming not for the first time that Arsene has put in a formal bid for his services. You would have thought that Hugo would have learned from the past two transfer windows that we are running around shouting, “Liar, liar, pants on fire” or something equally mature.
You have to give the lad immense credit though; he does a better job of selling this story than his Mr20% whomever that may be. Perhaps he has not employed the services of an agent, figuring that he has a big enough ego to do his own leg work. Still, it would come as little surprise to see him sign a new contract at Wigan in the next week or so which is how a lot of these transfer rumours end up.
It is surprising that Arsene has found time to talk to Wigan about Rodellega. Ivan Gazidis noticed that the manager was a bit down in the dumps following his phone conversation with Cesc and decided to take them on a shopping trip to Harrods. Whilst his wife looked at the designer handbags, the pair nipped up to the Sports department and decided that they liked the look of the Schwarzer model goalkeeper. Arsene had reservations about the age of the product, concerned that it was showing signs of wear and tear.
On a whim they nipped down to Heathrow and found themselves in Castellon where Arsene took a shine to a Lopez, apparently deciding that yellow did not suit the lad and that an £8m fee was perfectly acceptable, wants him to take over from Manuel Almunia. Not too sure where £8m came from but if the media can make up a fee, so can I. Annie though was none too chuffed with his flitting abroad and hauled him back to Harrods, along with his credit card, and showed him the Hangeland she had been eyeing up.
Whilst he thought that a Hangeland showed good durability and looked sturdy, Arsene is nothing less than patriotic and was not wishing to be seen resting on his Lorient’s, whisked Gazidis away to look at a Laurent Koscielny, liking it so much that he immediately tried to buy. Ever the canny money man, Wenger is trying to haggle them down to a better price, the €8m asking fee deemed too high.
He is nothing less than consistent, the Koscielny and Hangeland are both 6′ 5″ stoppers (No, they aren’t. Apparently Koscielny is 6′ 1 which just goes to show how reliable the papers are), carrying the bulk and presence oft-demanded although as Thomas Vermaelen proved, height is not everything. Which should mean that Pape Diakhate is still on Arsene’s radar despite being a meagre 6′ 1″ tall.
There is a myth that never dies in football, namely that the only good central defenders in the air, are those who tower above their opponents. Despite the fact that all of us can name any number of tall players who are useless when it comes to winning headers, rather like the cravings for a certain brand of chocolate that Mrs YW had when pregnant with No.1 Son, this myth never fades.
For Arsenal, the key to the defence will be organisation which is the point Martin Keown was making on ATVO earlier this week; if someone grabs the back four by the scruff of the neck and organises them, the players themselves are good.
Presumably, some of these names will appear on the ‘Transfer Listed‘ section of the official site and that will mean crossing them off the potential signings list as to subsequently have them join Arsenal will mean a ‘tapping up’ charge is in the offing. Actually, a quick glance reveals that Schwarzer, Koscielny and Cahill (from yesterday’s post, come on, keep up) are all on there so they are non-starters. Blimey Arsene, you are running out of targets. Who are you going to spend all this money on.
Still if there is any looking like it will be left over, he could always give some to Rafa Benitez. It would stop him going to Lime Street station with a begging bowl as he seeks to increase his £5m transfer budget. If he needs to increase his budget, perhaps Arsene could nip in with a cheeky bid for Reina…
Posted on May 29, 2010, in Arsenal, Football, Premier League, Premiership, Soccer, Transfer Gossip and tagged Arsenal, Football, Premier League, Soccer, Transfer Gossip. Bookmark the permalink. 168 Comments.